(no subject)

[knit1purr2]

This week is go time. I am supposedly ovulating later this week and am at peak fertility. So we are trying to have sex everyday this week. Cause I am really ready to get pregnant again. Like I had another dream about it last night and this time 5 years ago I had my baby shower for kiddo so I am getting lots of FB memories about it.  I enjoy being pregnant. I like feeling my body build and nourish another. Yes there are things that are uncomfortable but even things like morning sickness don't really bother me. And honestly after last year I will be so excited about all the early uncomfortable signs the sore boobs and being sensitive to smells. 

I told my therapist that I would like to be pregnant by December. Partly because it would be nice to have something happy as I deal with the 1st anniversary of getting the bad news last year and the termination.  I am feeling pretty good about my mental health. Most days I can get through it with minimal lingering on my grief. Did I still cry driving home after seeing a pregnant friend? Yes. But I was able to be happy for her and not cry until i was alone in my car.  Also I am slightly relieved that she won't be coming this weekend so that I won't have to keep that happy face up all weekend. 


But here is hoping for some baby dust. maybe it will be cause of the lunch time sex we are due to have today.