Unmoored, adrift, listless
Dec. 15th, 2022 11:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
knit1purr2Today is a bad brain day. And I am unable to focus because of it so I am going to spend a little time wallowing so that hopefully I can accept this and then move on.
First off, it is grey and rainy and cold outside. This makes waking up hard. It makes staying motivated hard. My mood is very linked to the weather.
Secondly, my house is a mess. The kitchen table has not been fully cleared off in weeks and there are piles of stuff all over the place and I have been having a hard time keeping up with daily cleaning chores. This is multiplied by the fact hubs has not been helping out with daily things like dishes lately and rarely does the general vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, tidying up. And the roommate who typically helps out with the dishes is pisses that hubs isn't helping out so he is not doing it as much anymore either.
Next work. There is a lot of things going on here. 1) I am going to be working fully time from home now. Which is because 2) packing up the office. This has lead to me doing things in the last few months such as, taking pictures and listing furniture, disassembling furniture, scheduling buyer pick ups and donation picks. 3) There are going to be some organizational structural changes (if they get approved tonight). IF things go one way, I will be getting an offer from an association management company, and continue to have this organization as my main client. Or something else will happen (i don't know what the other options are). Once this decision is reached we can take care of the other things around closing the office like the mail and the phones and such. There is a lot going on with work and I am finally done with all my other events and prep so now my brain has the bandwidth to worry.
Christmas, So that is happening in just 10 days. And actually done most of my shopping already. (dropping mad money to the local games store takes care of a lot of people in my family) But I have no decorations up at our house and honestly I don't think I will have it in me to do that before the holidays are here. The kids will have christmas trees at both grandparents house so that is fine.
Also we are at the 2 year anniversary of my TFMR. One the first anniversary I was pregnant (and on the same timeline which was hard). This time I have a very smiley almost 8 month old baby. And I love him so much but also I know that Patrick wasn't so sick he wouldn't be here. Which is all sorts of mind-fucky. I am pissed that now it is harder for families who are now in the same situation to get a TFMR in many places.
Other things, I Kiddo's teacher is leaving next week so he will be starting 2023 out with a new teacher. I am very glad that our school was able to find a new permanent teacher. But also worried cause the new teacher is brand spanking new and kiddo is grumpy about school. I have gotten more messages about him so far this year than all of last year combined. So maybe a new teacher will shake things up.
Oh and there maybe a rodent living in the front garden. Don't think they have made it inside (please let the cats actually be a deterrent) but this was kind of the thing that made everything fall apart yesterday.
First off, it is grey and rainy and cold outside. This makes waking up hard. It makes staying motivated hard. My mood is very linked to the weather.
Secondly, my house is a mess. The kitchen table has not been fully cleared off in weeks and there are piles of stuff all over the place and I have been having a hard time keeping up with daily cleaning chores. This is multiplied by the fact hubs has not been helping out with daily things like dishes lately and rarely does the general vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, tidying up. And the roommate who typically helps out with the dishes is pisses that hubs isn't helping out so he is not doing it as much anymore either.
Next work. There is a lot of things going on here. 1) I am going to be working fully time from home now. Which is because 2) packing up the office. This has lead to me doing things in the last few months such as, taking pictures and listing furniture, disassembling furniture, scheduling buyer pick ups and donation picks. 3) There are going to be some organizational structural changes (if they get approved tonight). IF things go one way, I will be getting an offer from an association management company, and continue to have this organization as my main client. Or something else will happen (i don't know what the other options are). Once this decision is reached we can take care of the other things around closing the office like the mail and the phones and such. There is a lot going on with work and I am finally done with all my other events and prep so now my brain has the bandwidth to worry.
Christmas, So that is happening in just 10 days. And actually done most of my shopping already. (dropping mad money to the local games store takes care of a lot of people in my family) But I have no decorations up at our house and honestly I don't think I will have it in me to do that before the holidays are here. The kids will have christmas trees at both grandparents house so that is fine.
Also we are at the 2 year anniversary of my TFMR. One the first anniversary I was pregnant (and on the same timeline which was hard). This time I have a very smiley almost 8 month old baby. And I love him so much but also I know that Patrick wasn't so sick he wouldn't be here. Which is all sorts of mind-fucky. I am pissed that now it is harder for families who are now in the same situation to get a TFMR in many places.
Other things, I Kiddo's teacher is leaving next week so he will be starting 2023 out with a new teacher. I am very glad that our school was able to find a new permanent teacher. But also worried cause the new teacher is brand spanking new and kiddo is grumpy about school. I have gotten more messages about him so far this year than all of last year combined. So maybe a new teacher will shake things up.
Oh and there maybe a rodent living in the front garden. Don't think they have made it inside (please let the cats actually be a deterrent) but this was kind of the thing that made everything fall apart yesterday.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-16 12:15 pm (UTC)An advantage of new shiny teachers is they haven't had the optimism kicked out of 'em yet? If they can survive the burnout of the first few years, they'll be fine, but at least year one usually still has energy because you haven't actually figured out what it's like? :P
I one hundred percent feel you on the house cleaning thing, and wish I could come and join you and help you clean.
~Sor