Thought of grief and healing
Dec. 23rd, 2024 10:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
knit1purr2This year is the first time since 2019 that I feel like I am both "in the holiday mood" and able to do the holiday stuff. The last couple years I have been doing the bare minimum of holiday stuff. Gift shopping, standard holiday events (Christmas eve dinner, Christmas day family). This year I putt out the wreath, got a Christmas tree, decorated it with the kids, took them to meet santa along with doing all the other stuff. But the in the holiday spirit, I was excited to go shopping, I wanted to sing songs and watch Muppet Christmas Carol.
And I know that the last few years I haven't been able to do that due to grief but I am healing. This goes back to December 2020 being the giant lucky month. With having the ob saying, things aren't looking normal you need to have more scans, hearing the results ofnthenscan alone in at the doctors because Kyle wasnt able to come with me due to Covid to saying goodbye to my second son a week before Christmas. Plus with covid going around, we didn't get to do the normal traditions with either side of the family.
That year Christmas was very very low key. Thankfully kiddo was too young to remember. In 21, 22 and even 23, I was doing Christmas for the kids (kiddo and then the baby).
I don't know why this year is different but I am welcoming the change. It is not back full force (the tree was only gotten and decorated on the 22nd) but it feels like a lot more progress.
And I know that the last few years I haven't been able to do that due to grief but I am healing. This goes back to December 2020 being the giant lucky month. With having the ob saying, things aren't looking normal you need to have more scans, hearing the results ofnthenscan alone in at the doctors because Kyle wasnt able to come with me due to Covid to saying goodbye to my second son a week before Christmas. Plus with covid going around, we didn't get to do the normal traditions with either side of the family.
That year Christmas was very very low key. Thankfully kiddo was too young to remember. In 21, 22 and even 23, I was doing Christmas for the kids (kiddo and then the baby).
I don't know why this year is different but I am welcoming the change. It is not back full force (the tree was only gotten and decorated on the 22nd) but it feels like a lot more progress.
